al-fatihah

salam..
dah lama sy xupdate my blog..
lots of things happen..
n i bet most of my frenz dah tau what happen...

ayah saya,
Hj Zakaria b, Hj. Mohd Nor
telah kembali ke rahmatullah pada 24 September 2010 bersamaan 15 Syawal yang lalu.
dan telah dikebumikan di tanah perkuburan di Sg. Tangkas,Bangi.

hampir 2 bulan ayah sy berada di hospital kerana masalah kesihatan...

pada awalnya, abah hanya mengadu sakit perut dan tak boleh makan sebab sakit perut.
ma paksa abah pergi ke hospital Besut sbb sakit perut makin teruk dari hari ke hari..
masuk ke hospital Besut selama 3 hari
tp abah makin tak larat...
sakit perut x hilang, badan makin lemah,langsung xde selera makan...
then, my family decide to transfer hin to HUSM.

on the day he was transferrred to HUSM, he already can't get up on his own...
nak duduk dari lying flat pun kena ada orang yang angkat..
kaki pun dah xlarat angkat...
docs at HUSM then said abah had another prob selaen masalah GIT/perut.
doc need to find out what is the prob..
is it form the brain or peripheral nerves..
MRI and CT scan was done..
and it was tiring to my dad..
abah need to NBM (PUASA) in order to do all these procedures.
n bukan skali wat benda tu.banyak kali kena repat..
although selera makan abah makin bertambah, but he can't eat bcoz of those procedures need to be done..
abah makin xlarat n lemah...
then, the final investigation that was done was lumbar punctur (LP) or ambik air tulang belakang.
he looked fine after the procedures but the next day, he colapsed n became unconcsious.
bermula hari tu,dia start coma.
3days later, he was transferred to ICU.
in ICU,he was on ventilator.
2weeks later,tracheostomy (tebuk trachea) was done utk bantuan pernafasan..
he started to open his eyes after the procedure..
masa tu Tuhan je tahu betapa gembiranya sy tgk dia boleh bkk mata even sy xtau die kenal kami atau x.
on the next day, abah dipindahkan ke wad 8 (HDU-HIGH DEPENDENCY UNIT).
abah dah tak bergantung pada ventilator.
he can breath on his own.
tapi,abah kembali xsedar.
demam abah pun xberhenti..
docs said abah terkena nosocomial infxn (jangkitan kuman dalm hospital)
hari2 abah demam...
3-4 kali sehari abah mesti demam..
PCM tablet kena hancurkan then bagi by Ryles tube or klu temperature tinggi sgt kena bg suppositories PCM.(ubat punggung)
hampir sebulan abah stay in wad 8.
seminggu after raya,sy terkejut lepas dpt brita dari my elder brother yg jaga ayah sy malam tu yang my father was critical..
i rushed to the ward and docs were resuscitating him.
docs said abah ada pendarahan dalam usus.
banyak darah hilang.
luckily, he survived.alhamdulillah.
his condition keep improving day by day.
abah dah boleh bukak mata,telan air in small amount, mulut pun dah bergerak,dah boleh angkat tangan..
then, my family decide to transfer hin to Hospital Serdang because semua adik beradik dah xde cuti n x boleh balik kampung utk jaga abah.
after abah dah nampak stable, we transferred him to Hospital Serdang.

i supposed not to go to KL at that time because i got calss, but hati sy macam memaksa2 sy utk ikut skali..
then, i decided to skip classes n follow them..
4days at Hospital Serdang, his condition deteriorated.
1st day, abah leh bukak mata lagi,boleh angkat tangan nak salam dgn adik beradik abah..
tp on the 2nd day, abah xlarat bukak mata..
hari ketiga i noticed his blood pressure was low.
then, hari ke4, sy tgk abah had noisy breathing..
sy ingat byk kahak n i thought he needed suction.
but, after suction pun,abah still had noisy breathing..
n dalam pukul 11.30 pagi, i noticed his blood pressure was very low.
then,i called doc.
doc resuscitated him n doc said abah in hypovolemic shock..
abah hilang banyak darah because of upper GI bleeding.
n he needed to breath via ventilator..
then,in the evening, my sis came.
she said to me n my mom, abah dah nak jalan jauh..
abah dah xde kalau kite cabut ventilator tu..
ya ALLAH..Tuhan je tau perasaan sy masa tu..
all of my siblings were there (except my 1st n 4th sibling because they were at oversea at that time...
we decided utk cabut ventilator tp we were not allowed because it was under medicolegal issue.
then,semua buat keputusan utk bawak abah balik ke rumah kakak sy di bangi.
sampai je kat rumah,ventilator dicabut.
5minit kemudian,tepat jam 9.20 malam, abah menghembuskan nafas terakhir.
INNALILLAH....
dan abah dikebumikan on the next day di Tanah Perkuburan Islam SG. Tangkas,Bangi.

ajal maut di tangan ALLAH..
sesungguhnya ALLAH sahaja yg tau di mana dan bila ajal hambaNya..
sy langsung xsangka abah akan meninggal jauh dari kampung halaman dan dikebumikan di sana.
alhamdulillah,segala urusan pengebumian abah berjalan lancar.
yang paling sy xboleh lupakan,kali terakhir sy melihat jasad abah, muka abah kelihatan sangat tenang dan dia seolah-olah tersenyum.
aku terima pemergian abah dengan redha kerana sy tau betapa seksanya abah ketika sakit selama 2bulan.
biarlah dia pergi dgn tenang.
dan semoga roh abah ditempatkan di kalangan orang2 yang beriman...
al-fatihah..
sy akan selalu merinduimu abah...

[his diary]

1/8/2010

-it was his birthday
-belom sempat adik beradik nk wat ape2 utk raikan his birthday, pagi2 lagi,i got a call from my eldest brother that he was unconscious after he had shortness of breath after 1week he had been admitted to HUSM.

2/8/2010

-2nd day.still unconscious.
-we tried to talk n hoping he will respond to us but,no response!
-i cried each time i talk to him.sangat sedih bile tgk die dlm keadaan mcm tu.

3/8/2010

-still unconscious but there were some improvements.
-his hands were moving.
-but they were still weak
-on the evening,he was transferred to I.C.U.
-there, he was on mechanical ventilator for respiration.
-ya Allah,sesungguhnya aku x kuat utk melihat die dlm keadaan sebegitu

4/8/2010

-2nd day in I.C.U
-his hands,lips,eyes and head moved a lil bit.
-ALHAMDULILLAH...
- tried to talk to him sambil buka kelopak mata die...
-i can see from his eyes that he was very sad.but he seemed to understand what was happening.
-he can respond for what we talked to him.
-bile one of my brother told him kitorg dah nak balik rumah,die genggam tangan my bro.
he seemed did not want let us to go from him....
=(




semoga die tabah menghadapi dugaan n hopefully die cepat sedar,cepat sembuh.....

it's time to change!

salam.
11/7/2010 - my 1st day as 4th year in medical school.
macam xpercaya pun ada...
dah tahun 4 rupenye aku ni...
3tahun berlalu rase macam sekejap sgt..
(tp bile time minggu exam rase mcm berjanggut nk tggu abes exam...)
hari ni ada pendaftaran n briefing pasal posting.
blom start kelas lg..
but i'm already cuak..
dgr briefing dr each posting coordinator,rase macam nk terjun bangunan..
SCARY SANGAT2!
especially the major postings...
n yg lebih menambahkan cuak bile 4posting terawal aku tu semuanya major postings!!
which mean, semua tu sgt2 tough..n we as the students should bersedia mental dan fizikal...

1st posting - o&g
2nd posting - paed
3rd posting - surgery
4th posting - ortho

semua tu killer posting!!!!!
am i ready??

yes!no!
don't know!
usaha,doa n tawakal..semoga ALLAH mermpermudahkan segalanya...

so,moral of the story is
IT'S TIME TO CHANGE!!!

KENAPA

kenapa saya akan senyum bila nampak dia?
kenapa hati saya berdebar bila nampak dia?
kenapa saya akan suka semua benda yg dia buat?
KENAPA?

OMG! i got O&G!

salam..
tinggal few more days before balik semula ke USM selepas 3 BULAN lebih berseronok bercuti...
which means tinggal few more days sy akan melangkah ke clinical year!
ahhh...tidak!!!
sy macam xtau pape..
otak dah kering kontang sebab cuti yg lama sgt..
(sape suruh xstudy time cuti iny oiii..)
n sy akan start dgn posting O&G!
OMG!
one of killer postings..
macam2 benda bersilarat dalam kepala lepas tau sy akan posting O&G.
takut,cuak,gerun..semua laa..
ye la..dah la 1st posting...
awal2 dah kena killer posting..
tp xpe...
bak kata abah sy,"xpela..start dgn susah dulu.nanti senang la.."
erm...
doakan sy berjaya in clinical years ye kwn2! =)

sbb cuti panjang sgt...

salam..
guess what??
i got measles!
measles = campak.
mentang2 cuti panjang sangat,nah amek kau!
dah tua bangka camni (eh,saya masih muda lg!teheee~~~) baru nk naek campak..
tp sebenarnya,sy sndiri xsure ni campak or ape..
mak saya yg diagnose.
g klinik,doc xckp pape ble sy tunjuk rashes..
maybe sbb sy xbgtau yg sy demam b4 this..
aku sendiri pun xleh diagnose same ada ni campak or ape..wat malu btol!
medical student sendiri xtau,alih2 mak aku plak leh diagnose.hehe..

ok,xtau dah nk ckp pe..
gian sngt nk tulis tp xde idea..next time la plak..
bubbye!!!

beauty concious

semua org nk cantik..
n boleh dikatakan semua org skrg ni beauty concious. .especially gadis2 remaja n wanita..
sanggup xmakan sebab x nak gemuk..
sanggup beli mcm2 produk sbb nak putihkan kulit...
sanggup wat macam2 la....sbb nak nampak cantik
fine!
yang tu saya faham n boleh terima...

tp yg saya xpaham,
bile my niece yg umur 4 thun xnak makan n bagi alasan....

TAK NAK MAKAN!! NANTI GEMUK! TAK CANTIK!

i was like...aaaa...mcm ni ke budak zaman sekarang??